This is what I learned today; translation: In order to find true peace, you have to reflect upon your life. Deep right? I was feeling bad for myself today, this what happens when I have a day off with nothing to do. I miss my family, my friends and just being able to 100% be myself. And you may think, well why don’t you just start acting like yourself then? Easier said than done. It is border line impossible for me to be 100% myself here, not because I don’t want to, but because of the language barrier. Many of the comments I would say at home, I don’t say here because A.) I don’t know how to say it. B.) In the case that I do know how to say it, people may not catch my sarcastic tone C.) I don’t want to offend anyone and I haven’t really figured out what is/isn’t offensive for the French. Besides that, I often feel bad for myself because I don’t have many friends. At home, it’s so easy to make plans. Here, not so much. It normally involves a train or occasionally someone else’s car. I can never just hop in my car and drive away. It always involved a second party (AKA another form of transportation). And even if I did hop in my car and drive away, a drive of 30 minutes plus would be involved to even see someone that I may or may not even consider a true friend. Oh the complications of living in a foreign country.
I decided to go on a run because I had nothing else to do and they normally calm me down. So I left for my run hoping to release some endorphins. And it worked…Bellac is a very pretty town and when I stopped running and walked down 102 steps that are un-even, not the same height, and on multiple occasions I thought my knees were going to give out, I sat down on one of these so said steps and took in the beauty. It was borderline breath taking. I analyzed and enjoyed the architecture (which is very different from American houses), the small river flowing through my town, a bridge for trains, and a church—more or less a cathedral. It was an amazing experience. It is moments like these that verify my belief in God. From the trees, to the river, to the sky and all of the amazing surroundings that surrounded me, I know that this all of this beauty cannot be sheer coincidence. It was too perfect. In this time I also thought about my dream. My dream of teaching in France. And then, if I am living my dream right now, why am I not ecstatic to be here? After pondering these questions and many more, I concluded that life is what you make of it. It is MY choice. Happiness is a choice. The way I respond to life’s happenings is my decision. I have been taking for granted all of the things that have happened in my life to help me get where I am today. My family. My friends. My education. And life—everything that happened along the way as I matured into a young woman. I should be thankful for all of the things in my life and I was wasting time feeling bad for myself because of my lack of friends. Instead, I should be thankful for the friends that I do have here. So after all of this, I felt at peace with myself and was ready to start my run again.
Now that my mind and spirit were feeling like a million bucks, I was at ease and felt lighter. My strides were long and strong and I was running like a gazelle (ok, not quite. I run more like an elephant on most days, but I felt like a gazelle, so that’s all that matters). And then of course I was almost back…and had a slight problem.
I stepped on something which I thought was a leaf and then it got stuck on the back of my calf. I was almost done with my run so I decided to ignore it and keep running When I stopped running, I wiped the so called leaf off my calf (without looking), and when I looked at my hand…this leaf was not a leaf. It was dog crap. And would you like to know what I did? I laughed out loud. What else could I have done? I thought it was funny. I finally felt at peace with myself and then I step in dog poop, and even worse now it was on my hand! And I just laughed, by myself in the street, and people probably thought I was crazy, and I didn’t care.
So I went back to my room. Took a shower and am now blogging about it. Hope you liked the ending to my lovely day.
(I thought I'd share a picture because today was pretty much the epitomy of epic).
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